


Willing to Fall

by callmelove



Category: BLACKPINK (Band)
Genre: F/F, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-02
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2020-04-06 15:48:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19065718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/callmelove/pseuds/callmelove
Summary: Who would’ve thought a simple night in could lead to something like this?





	Willing to Fall

If you told Chaeyoung she would fall in love someday with three of the most amazing women she has ever met in her entire life and she wouldn’t even realize, she wouldn’t believe you. Not about the part of three amazing women, she grew up in Australia and the people there are really accepting and progressive, she even thinks she saw a polyamorous relationship between 4 people before. She just thought it strange how they called it Bellas Squared. (Yes, I know the timing is wrong, let’s just assume hmm?)

 

No, she wouldn’t believe you on the part where she wouldn’t realize. She has always been quite connected to her emotions if she does say so herself, she has always been emphatic to those around her and she’s always been one of the first to notice when something’s wrong with her members. She’s pretty sure she would know if she fell in love with three women thank you very much.

 

But you know how sometimes you get that gay revelation and decide to deal with it later? That’s what happened to Chaeyoung. She realized she loved Jennie when she sobbed in her arms one night when the hate bashers kept throwing her way became too much, what did I do Chaeyoungie, I’m trying, I really am, what am I doing wrong? And Chaeyoung soothed and cooed comforting words to her saying, “Shhhh don’t listen to them eonnie, they don’t see you the way we do, we know you’re trying, it’s okay, it’s okay, I’m here for you” and Jennie looked up at her with that gummy smile she grew to love, tears still streaming down her face and Oh God. How could someone still be so beautiful when they cry? They spent that night cuddling and watching Disney movies.

 

_“Eonnie, do you want to watch Coco again?” Chaeyoung said while looking at Jennie, who was still sniffling from the ending. “Nae,” Jennie hiccupped, wiping her eyes with one hand, the other still clutching the big Stitch plushie a blink gave her and Chaeyoung’s heart swooned at the adorableness in front of her. She started the movie again, Jennie’s head resting on her shoulder and her arms encircling her waist, still holding onto the plushie. Chaeyoung wrapped her arm around Jennie’s shoulders and kissed her forehead, settling down for another round of Coco._

 

She realized she loved Lisa when the stress and expectations for her upcoming dance solo crashed in on her all at once and she had a panic attack. She was always the most nervous before a performance out of all the pinks and when she finally had her chance to be the main dancer that she is, she panicked and worried that what she prepared wouldn’t be enough, what if it’s not good enough Chaeyoung, what if I screw it up, what if blinks don’t like it? “Lisa, it will be more than good enough, you’re the best dancer out of all of us and honestly, our choreographers are still not letting you bring out your full potential, the blinks will love it I promise,” she said sitting her down on the couch and massaging her shoulders and temples. They spent that afternoon practicing breathing exercises and Chaeyoung refusing to let Lisa stand from the couch.

 

_“Aniyo, sit down Lisa,” Chaeyoung said glaring at Lisa. “You’ve spent the last **three days** of your free time practicing your dance and have you even slept a full 10 hours yet? Ani, sit down and let me finish my massage.” Lisa whined and tried to wiggle out of Chaeyoung’s grip. “Yahhh Chaeyoung-ahhh” she pouted looking at Chaeyoung with puppy eyes. “Aniyo, let me take care of you Lisa.” Chaeyoung said ignoring the puppy eyes altogether. “Fineeeee,” Lisa relented, a hint of a smile creeping on her face. Chaeyoung noticed and smiled in victory, the rest of the afternoon passing by peacefully._

 

She realized she loved Jisoo when the latter wouldn’t stop staying behind after their dance rehearsals, practicing well into the next day and overall overworking herself. Chaeyoung went back for her one such day and Jisoo tried getting her to leave, I’m fine Chaeyoung-ahh really, I have to stay, I have to get this right, I need to be better. “Eonnie you’re doing great, you’ve been practicing so much and you’re only going to keep improving. It’s enough, I swear it is, please take a break.” Chaeyoung shushed her, wrapping her arms around her neck and looking into her eyes, trying to convey her concern for her eonnie. They spent that morning sleeping on the couches of their dance studio, Jisoo catching up on some much needed sleep.

 

_“Jisoo-eonnie please,” Chaeyoung pleaded, her arms around her neck. “Please take a break.” Jisoo sighed, giving in to the younger’s eyes. Her body sagged in exhaustion and she realized just how tired she really was. “Mianhe chipmunkie,” Jisoo mumbled, her head on Chaeyoung’s shoulder, eyes already closing of their own violition. “Aish eonnie, you always nag us when we don’t take care of ourselves, yet here you are overworking yourself.” Chaeyoung gently scolded, hugging her tighter, one hand stroking her hair. When she was met with silence, she realized Jisoo had already fallen asleep. Chaeyoung kept one arm around her shoulders and maneuvered Jisoo so she was carrying her bridal style, careful to be gentle. Jisoo only snuggled in further, already in dreamland, and Chaeyoung brought them over to the couch. She laid down with Jisoo on top of her with only one thought going through her head before succumbing to her own sleepiness, “It’s a good thing today’s our day off.”_

 

Each and every time, she put it off to deal with later until she eventually completely forgot about it. Oh, she’d have moments where she’d be completely gay for her members (quite a lot actually, as her girls were always on point and completely adorable when they’re not) but she never took the time to actually process what it all meant.

 

And when she did, it was a whole night of what she could only describe as gay panic.

_Chaeyoung was alone in their dorm one night, Jennie off on a photoshoot in Japan, and Jisoo and Lisa each on a visit to their families. She had the house all to herself for the next few days and she planned to make the most of it. Chaeyoung settled down on the couch with a bowl full of popcorn, took out her phone and sent a text to the girls’ groupchat._

_8:45pm_

_Chipmunk_

_Be safe you guys!!!_

_Jenlisa text me when you get there and have fun with your family Chichu!!_

_She sent a lot of heart emojis with it and settled down to watch Netflix._

_…_

 

_An hour and a half later and Chaeyoung was ready pull her hair out. She’s been browsing show after show, movie after movie and she still can’t decide what to watch. She can’t watch Game of Thrones because she always watches that with Jennie, she can’t watch anything on the horror genre because she doesn’t have Lisa or Jisoo there with her to make her laugh when the scary parts come on, and she can’t watch anything Disney because it’s always been better with the others there with her._

_“What is wrong with me, I can’t miss them that much already,” Chaeyoung groaned rubbing a hand down her face and staring at the tv in dismay. Speaking of, she checked her phone and saw no replies to her text and it made her pout. She knows they’re probably busy (and in Jennie and Lisa’s case, in an airplane) but she still wishes they saw her message by now._

_She can’t believe she’s saying this but she already misses them._

_She sighed and munched on some popcorn while thinking about the girls.  She started smiling absentmindedly when she remembers how Jennie looks like a dumpling when she starts pouting or how Lisa plays with her cats and talks to them like they’re her babies from the womb or how Jisoo still sometimes sings the helium song in her normal voice and it always cracks the others up._

_She thinks about their time filming Blackpink House and how fun it was to just be themselves, just her and her girls._

_She jolted upright, popcorn spilling onto the floor as she remembers something she’s been putting off. “Wait… my girls?” she thought as her heart steadily started hammering. Her hands shook as she carefully laid the bowl down on the table, mind whirling as she remembers. She was in love with them. She **is** in love with them. OH MY GOD!!!!!!_

_Her phone suddenly pinged making her jump a little in her seat and her heart raced even more as she saw that it was the girls replying to her text. She’s not ready for this, she can’t handle this yet, oh god oh god OH GOD THEY’RE FACETIMING. Rosie panicked and shut down her phone, throwing it away from her onto the other couch as if it was an avocado. She was shaking as she was coming to terms with fact thAT SHE WAS IN LOVE WITH JENNIE, LISA AND JISOO HOLY FUCK WHAT IS SHE GONNA DO?!?!?!_

_She stood up and started pacing, gay panicking to the maximum level because holy mother of mangoes SHE WAS IN LOVE WITH THEM GODDAMMIT HOW CAN SHE CALM DOWN WHAT IS SHE SUPPOSED TO DO SHE WASN’T TRAINED FOR THIS!!!_

_“Okay Rosie let’s calm down okay it’s no big deal, we just realized we’re in love with three different people that’s all,” she said to herself in English still pacing back and forth in front of the couch and combing her fingers through her hair. “It’s not a big deal it’s just Jennie who is an absolute babe on the stage but is the softest little dork offstage and Lisa who is the same and an absolute crackhead that loves making me laugh and Jisoo who takes such good care of me sometimes I want to call her mommy” she slapped her hand to her mouth realizing what she just said and blushing a furious crimson._

_“MOMMY?!?!?! What the heck is wrong with you Park Chaeyoung get a grip!!” she shouted grabbing a pillow to cover her face and sitting back down on the couch. Even though she was all alone and no one could hear her, she still felt embarrassed over what she said. “And this isn’t even new, you already knew you loved them for a long time now. Oh god I already knew I was in love with them AND IT TOOK ME THIS LONG TO ACKNOWLEDGE IT FUCK” she groaned plopping down on the couch, still very much gay panicking._

_The night continued on in that manner, Rose calming down and then gay panicking all over again, for a good 3 hours._

_Finally, at 1:40am in the morning, Rosie finally decided to woman up and deal with it in a rational manner._

_“Okay so let’s take a deep breath Rosie you can do this,” she mumbled taking in a deep breath as she sat on the kitchen counter, the living room behind her a mess due to all of her pacing. “Let’s look at the facts. Fact No.1 I am in love with Jennie, Lisa, and Jisoo,” she blushed and her heart skipped a beat as she finally came to terms with what she’s been gay panicking over for over 3 hours._

_“Fact No.2 I am stupid for only realizing this now,” she groaned and smacked herself in the face. “Fact No.3 I’ve ignored them for almost 4 hours now,” she glanced at her phone guiltily, still in the same place she threw it. She sighed, noticing the mess she made and knowing she’ll have to clean it up. “Okay so I love them,” she said getting up from the counter and getting a broom and dustpan. “Honestly, not really a bad thing. They’re amazing people and I’m lucky to have them.” she smiled while gathering all the popcorn she spilled._

_“Okay so we’re fine with loving them. Are we fine with sharing them?” she put a finger to her lips as she dumped the popcorn in the trash, thinking for a moment. She remembers when Jennie had to pretend to be dating Kai, when she saw fans shipping Lisa with Jungkook or Jisoo with Seulgi or Jennie with Irene, she remembers every single time it happened and how jealous it made her feel._

_“Yep okay, not okay with sharing with others,” she concluded while heading towards the sofas. “What about with each other?” she wondered as she fixed the pillows on the couch and the last of the mess she made. She knows of all the ships in Blackpink, even watched some videos herself and she never felt bothered or jealous by it. Her heart actually felt quite full whenever she witnesses her members have a moment herself and she’s seen how they look at each other and at her._

_“Yeah… definitely okay sharing with each other,” she grinned feeling bolstered at the fact. She sat down and leaned back on the couch, directing her question to the ceiling “The only question now is… will anything change after I tell them?”_

_She’s going to tell them eventually, that was never a doubt. Now that she knows how she feels, she knows it’s only a matter of time before she tells them anyway. But what will be their reaction to it? She is in love with all three of them after all, and they’re in Korea to boot not to mention the fact that they’re idols. Even if they all somehow, **somehow** , feel the same as her, she knows their relationship’s gonna have to be kept a secret if they want to keep their career._

_And she knows she’s putting her heart on the line, she knows she risks getting heartbroken and she’s not even sure they’re all gay no matter how they look at her sometimes, that could just be a coincidence and they never explicitly said their preferences to each other before after all._

_But she’s willing to risk it, she’s willing to risk it for them._

_Would they accept it? She doesn’t know. She doesn’t know and surprisingly, it doesn’t scare her. Not nearly as much as she thought it should._

_“But anyway…” she thought reaching for her phone and finally turning it on again. “I can’t keep avoiding them. Time to check in on my girls.” In a matter of moments her phone started pinging and dinging with messages from her girls._

_10:30pm_

_Limario_

_Rosieeeee! I made it to Thailandddd_ _😊_

_10:31pm_

_Jendeukie_

_Same here in Japan. Wow you really like using the shipnames don’t you?_ _😂_

_10:34pm_

_Chichu_

_It’s convenient and you know it_ _😂_ _😂_

_Let’s facetime!!_

_Limario started a group call_

_11:15pm_

_Group call ended_

_11:16pm_

_Jendeukie_

_Rosie? Yah why didn’t you answer the call_

_Chichu_

_She might be out_

_Also gotta run, eomma is calling_

_11:17pm_

_Limario_

_Tell her we said hi eonnie_

_y isn’t the chipmunk on??_

_Jendeukie_

_idk lisa. Eonnie did say she might be busy_

_11:19pm_

_Limario_

_but she’s usually always on for us…_

_Jendeukie_

_I’m sure she’s fine. Gotta go, the tour is starting._

_Limario_

_bye eonnie_

_12:10am_

_Jendeukie_

_still no rosie?_

_Limario_

_still no rosie._

_12:13am_

_Jendeukie_

_im staring to get worried…_

_12:15am_

_Chichu_

_aish jinjja I’m sure our pasta is fine_ _🙄_

_Limario_

_but it’s her day off eonnie, where could she be?_

_12:16am_

_Chichu_

_Knowing her, probably eating. Or watching a movie_

_she’s fine, don’t worry kiddos_

_12:18am_

_Jendeukie_

_if u say so eonnie_

_1:41am_

_Chichu_

_alright even I’m starting to get worried_

_Limario_

_welcome to the club_

_1:42am_

_Jendeukie_

_yah lisa, it’s already late there_

_1:45am_

_Limario_

_I can’t sleep…_

_our chaeyoungie is missing_

_1:46am_

_Jendeukie_

_guess I can’t argue… I can’t sleep as well_

_Chichu_

_same here…_

_Chaeyoung reeeeaaaally felt guilty now. She didn’t mean to worry them, she was just too busy panicking over the fact she loved them (which seems kind of silly to her now and is totally not an acceptable excuse)._

_2:05am_

_Chipmunk_

_Mianhaeyo_

_my phone died_

_I didn’t mean to worry you_

_She hated lying to them. But she wasn’t going to tell them the real reason either. Not now, she wasn’t ready. But… she bit her lip and started typing before she could change her mind._

_2:07am_

_Chipmunk_

_I miss you._

_All of you._

_Come back home soon to me._

_There. Dear god, her heart was beating so fast. Her phone dinged before she could think too much._

_2:10am_

_Limario:_

_Yah Park Chaeyoung._

_Stop being so cute, I was supposed to be mad at you_

_Asdfghjkl_

_Jendeukie_

_Yah rosie don’t scare us like that again_ _😫_

_Atleast send a text b4 your phone dies next time_

_Chichu_

_I told you not to worry_ _😂_

_Limario_

_Yah don’t laugh eonnie_

_U were worried too_

_Chichu_

_Aishhh_

_Don’t worry chaeyoung-ahhh we’ll be home before you know it_ _😘_

_And that was that. Chaeyoung made them go to sleep, especially Lisa, and promised to facetime with them tomorrow afternoon. As for her, well if she made a pillow fort in the living room with things from their rooms to feel like they were there with her, that was for her to know and them to never find out. And if she spent a panicked 20 minutes rapidly putting it all back into their rooms 4 days later when they all decided to come home early and tell her just when they were about to arrive, well. Never let it be said Park Chaeyoung didn’t do well under pressure because they never suspected a thing._

_(They totally suspected. Chaeyoung was a terrible liar, especially to them. They never got it out of her though.)_

Chaeyoung chuckled, remembering that night and the absolute rush not to get caught with fondness. Ever since then, she’s been more affectionate with her girls and it showed. Even before Coachella, she was already plenty affectionate with the girls in private and she’s only become braver since their tour through America and Europe.

 

She knows the fans love it. Heck, she does too. But her heart aches just a tiny bit whenever they say it’s a fanservice. _How she wishes it were real._ But she _still_ hasn’t confessed to them, which annoys her to the highest degree. They were so busy with their World Tour and when they weren’t touring as BLACKPINK, they were touring around as ordinary tourists who were starry eyed at their new surroundings. When they weren’t doing that _,_ they were doing interviews and guest shows and radio shows. And when they weren’t doing _that_ , they were spending time with Chaelisa’s parents.

 

Chaeyoung and Lisa were both surprised when their parents decided to follow them around on their tour but they were both so happy, it made them cry. They didn’t show it to the blinks, but they missed having their parents around in their trainee years, and it seems, so did they. Chaeyoung was content to make up for lost time with her parents and so was Lisa.

 

Chaeyoung wanted to tell them, really she did, but she also just couldn’t seem to find the right time. Honestly, she was too busy enjoying herself and the anonymity they had overseas. People were just _so nice_ to them and she loved all their blinks they encountered, she loved spending time with the girls and she loved having her parents there with her for every moment.

 

But now, the hype was dying down and they were going home to Korea for a bit of a break before continuing their tour. _Finally._ Don’t get her wrong, she absolutely loved touring and performing and seeing all their blinks but nothing beats staying at home with Jennie, Jisoo and Lisa and doing absolutely nothing for a day.

 

“Yah, yah Chaeyoung-ah what are you smiling about?” Jennie asked bringing her out of her thoughts and back to the present. They were in the car that would take them home and Chaeyoung’s been zoning out for the past 40 minutes. “Oh nothing, I’m just excited to go home.” She said and smiled at Jennie, her eyes sparkling and Jennie just had to smile as well. It was contagious.

 

“Aishhhh are you already thinking of all the food you’ll eat when we get back chipmunkie?” she teased poking Chaeyoung’s cheek. Before she could answer her, Lisa sidled into the vacant spot next to Chaeyoung and started poking her other cheek.

 

“Ahh jinjja, when does Rosie ever stop thinking about food?” she said joining Jennie in teasing Chaeyoung. “Never.” Jisoo said from the front, looking back at them with a cheeky grin.

 

“Yahh hajimaaaa,” Chaeyoung whined making the others laugh. Chaeyoung took Jennie and Lisa’s hands which were still poking her cheeks and interlaced their fingers. “If you’d have just let me answer, you’d know I wasn’t thinking about food at all.” She said making the others curious.

 

“Oh? Then what _were_ you thinking about Chaeyoungie?” Jisoo asked, her head tilted to the side. Lisa and Jennie turned slightly in their seats to look at Chaeyoung better, their hands still interlaced with Chaeyoung’s, just as curious as Jisoo.

 

“I was thinking that I’d finally be home with you,” Chaeyoung said, looking directly into Jisoo’s eyes. “All of you,” she added looking into Lisa’s and Jennie’s eyes as well. “I was thinking that I’d finally be able to spend a simple night in at home with my girls.” she finished, squeezing Jennie and Lisa’s hands and smiling at them all tenderly, eyes soft with affection.

 

Her answer caught them all off guard and they blushed. Jisoo turned away to hide the smile growing on her face, Jennie hid her head in Chaeyoung's arm and Lisa, not one to let the opportunity slide, let go of Chae's hand, slung her arm around her shoulders and leaned into Chaeyoung.

 

"Ahhhh ahh what is this? Since when was Rosie so confident? And since when were we your girls?" she grinned teasingly, her face close to Chaeyoung's and Chaeyoung suddenly had a burst of inspiration.

 

She smirked as she abruptly turned her head so there was an inch of space between their lips, the tension thickening. She purposely glanced down at Lisa's lips and back at her eyes, biting her lip. Lisa gulped, control of the situation slipping out of her grasp. She couldn't quite force herself to move, she couldn’t quite breathe and she couldn't even think actually, not when Chaeyoung was looking at her like that. Not when she was biting her lip like that.

 

"Maybe," she whispered, maintaining eye contact, leaning ever so closer. "Since I realized..." she trailed off and Lisa was dazed, barely registering her words, eyes only focused on Chaeyoung's lips now.

 

Chaeyoung’s eyes were half-lidded. Was she really going to do this? Was she really going confess to them like this? Was she really going to kiss Lisa? She’s always dreamed of doing it… It would be so easy… her lips were right there, she could almost feel them. Just a little bit more…

 

She quickly pecked Lisa’s nose and pulled back, facing the front of the car again. "Since I realized." Sike.

 

Nope. Nope, she was not. Not with their manager right there with them.

 

Lisa blinked, what the fuck? What just happened?? Did she just??? Lisa touched her nose with such a confused expression on her face it made Chaeyoung laugh, Lisa’s arm still around her shoulders. “Aegyooooooo,” she cooed, pinching Lisa’s cheek and Lisa still looking confused and out of balance.

 

"Realized? Yah realized what?" Jisoo asked insistently, apparently watching the whole time. Chaeyoung looked over at Jisoo and said “I’ll tell you later.” with a smile and wink. She didn’t know where Confident Gaysé was coming from but she was not about to let the blue moon pass without finally confessing to her members.

 

Jennie, who had been quietly observing the whole interaction, felt the need to say something to stop Jisoo from asking Chaeyoung again. She had an inkling of what Chaeyoung was going to say later and oh god if she was right then it was **_not_** something they want to discuss with their manager around.

 

“Jisoo-eonnie why don’t you come over here and join the cuddle pile? Chaeyoung’s really comfy and it’s still a while before we get home.” she said and snuggled more into Chaeyoung. Lisa, who stopped touching her nose, was already snuggled into Chaeyoung’s other side. Lisa took the initiative to take Chaeyoung’s hand this time and interlaced them together.

 

“Yeah eonnie, come join us.” she agreed and made grabbing motions for Jisoo with her other hand. Jennie copied her and Chaeyoung started saying please in her aegyo voice, the two girls holding her hands quickly joining her, the combination of their voices and cuteness too much for Jisoo.

 

“Aishhh triple teaming me like this, you girls should be ashamed,” Jisoo said even as she was already taking off her seatbelt and moving over to the girls. She sat sideways on Jennie’s lap and Jennie straightened up to accommodate her, her arm already wrapping around Jisoo’s waist. Jisoo leaned against Jennie’s left shoulder, her right hand reaching for Jennie’s hand to intertwine their fingers together and put her feet up on Lisa’s lap.

 

Chaeyoung, who raised her hands (and thereby Lisa’s and Jennie’s too) up, put them back down on Jisoo’s lap, leaning her head against Lisa’s. Jisoo reached her left hand out to Lisa, imitating the Maknae’s grabbing motions from earlier and Lisa didn’t miss a beat, lacing her and Jisoo’s fingers together and settling them down near where Chaennie’s hands were interlocked.

 

Chaeyoung smiled and closed her eyes, the warmth in her heart threatening to overwhelm her. It’s been awhile since they sat tangled in each other like this, jenchulichaeng style. Her smile grew even wider when she felt lips kissing her cheek and forehead respectively, instinctively knowing it was Jennie and Jisoo.

 

It was moments like this that made her convinced they felt the same way. She didn’t want to choose just one of them and break the other two’s hearts if it ended up they all just loved her, it wouldn’t be fair. And she didn’t want that. She didn’t want to choose. She wanted them all.

 

And, as they all fell asleep together still holding each other close, she hoped they felt the same.


End file.
